Some more from "Notes from Underground"

The second part of this book is a reminiscence of some incident from the protagonist's life. Its a normal story with his weird thoughts...First he is obsessed with avenging his insult from this officer [ which he presumes is an insult, as this officer ignored him & did not consider worthy of giving him any attention or showing any courtesy]...Then next he invites himself to some farewell party of old classmates [he clearly states that he dislikes each n every one of them]..Finally drunk in the party he ends up in a brothel n gives lecture of goodness & love & respect to the girl there..& then keeps worrying over his act of inviting that girl to his house..& when that girl visits his house, he insults her & sends her away...so this is what there is in the second part...

Now this Mr Underground is really weird...first he is so obsessed with taking revenge from this officer..& its so very important for him that all the time for days together he just keeps thinking about this..goes into financial debt..& then is satisfied by merely not moving from the path of the officer while walking one fine day..


He will keep thinking that he wont do this, & then will go & do exactly that, & then keep brooding & feeling ashamed for having done that. [hmm this does happens at times i guess] He goes & gets himself invited to this party. I understand that one tends to like/dislike people. You dont get along with some people, you dont like their nature/character/ways etc. So he disliked these classmates, fine. They are not affected by his dislike, that too is fine. But why does he go to their party & then create a whole drama of it? What was he trying to prove? What was he thinking? What was the whole point of this?I do not understand..unless it was losing sense for the spur of the moment :D

Next, in drunken state he goes & gives a lecture about love family respect to this girl..For a while I thought Mr Undergound is capable of some positive thoughts as well. But I realized I was wrong there..Or wasnt I?I mean if all that what he said was wat he believed then where was the implementation?? Just blabber, no actions! When the girl comes to his place, he insults her..that was becuz he was ashamed of his poverty & wretchedness.

This character is really an extreme case. He despises everything & everyone. He doesnt seem life fit enough to live. In his own words he has taken divorce from life. Now personnally I could relate to few things/emotions in this book, but that is just momentarily..for instance there are moments when I find myself getting irritated with everything or every second person...that person in bus is making so much noise..irritating..this colleague in next cubicle is shouting on his cell ..irritating..somebody doesnt do something according to my expectations..irritating...but all this is just for that short moment when I am already in a sore mood for some reason...but this doesnt mean I despise everything perpetually.. Gosh I cant imagine nor do I want to imagine whats it like to be divorced from life...!

Theres this statement towards the end, which again seems like an extreme, but still worth mentioning :-D
Leave us alone without books and we shall be lost and in confusion at once. We shall not know what to join on to, what to cling to, what to love and what to hate, what to respect and what to despise.