Notes from the "Notes from the Underground"

This is one weirdo book I have come across, rather the protagonist in it is a weird character & is reflected through his discourse. Or maybe he is not weird. Cuz everyone of us has various facets & sometime or the other come across some weird, not so good, even out of place thoughts/actions. Neither are we pure black nor white, we are shades of grey in our character. Isnt it..he ha ha :D
This is the kind of book, which I will have to read may be many times, cuz every time I’ll notice something different, grasp some other notion that the author has put it. I haven’t yet finished reading this book, but here are some excerpts which I found worth listing.


The enjoyment was just from the too intense consciousness of one's own degradation; it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into.

Though this sounds lil pessimistic, I really liked the way author has put in these words about how man is what he is & cannot be somebody different. Whatever he does he cannot escape what he is & there is nothing to which he can change to. & there is a sense of enjoyment in even that. I feel there are situations in life when you just enjoy being what you are even if thats just degradation in somebody elses eyes, & that even if a part of you wants to change or escape from this facet of yours, you cant really do it cuz you are enjoying it. Its just a different viewpoint which the author has put in so well.


but in despair there are the most intense enjoyments, especially when one is very acutely conscious of the hopelessness of one's position.
How do you feel when you are in a sticky hopeless position? Okay not everytime, but at times am sure atleast I have laughed over myself, over the situation & over the hopelessness. This is the aspect which the author has touched upon here.
Nature does not ask your permission, she has nothing to do with your wishes, and whether you like her laws or dislike them, you are bound to accept her as she is, and consequently all her conclusions. A wall, you see, is a wall ... and so on, and so on.
"Laws of Nature".. No human has any say in that nor any control. They are the laws which each one of us has to accept as is. & whether you like it or not, these laws do govern your life. Nobody is independent of them.



To begin to act, you know, you must first have your mind completely at ease and no trace of doubt left in it.
Offcourse, how can one act when he is in doubt about his actions. Even before the courage & determination to do something, comes the ease of mind, the belief.
Oh, gentlemen, do you know, perhaps I consider myself an intelligent man, only because all mylife I have been able neither to begin nor to finish anything. Granted I am a babbler, a harmless vexatious babbler, like all of us. But what is to be done if the direct and sole vocation of every intelligent man is babble,that is, the intentional pouring of water through a sieve?
This sure is satirical :) I hope :D

..that man everywhere and at all times, whoever he maybe, has preferred to act as he choose and not in the least as his reason and advantage dictated. What man wants is simply INDEPENDENT choice, whatever that independence may cost and wherever it may lead.

Independence! Be it thoughts! Be it actions!

And who knows (there is no saying with certainty),perhaps the only goal on earth to which mankind is striving lies in this incessant process of attaining, in other words, in life itself, and not in the thing to be attained..He feels that when he has found it there will be nothing for him to look for..

Now again I can relate to this. As in, many a times I am so excited doing something, looking forward to something, so much that when that thing actually gets done or that happening actually takes place, there is kind of anti climax. I feel kinda depressed that its in a way over..
One thing is for sure, there should always be something to do, something to look forward to, else life gets boring & one feels useless..